Ceremonies for New Dads

Midwives and mothers are both fully aware of how pregnancy, childbirth and actually becoming a new mother transform a woman emotionally, spiritually, and in relation to her family and social roles.

Of course, the father also has a vital role in conception and parenting. But often, the profound changes he undergoes in his transformation from lover, husband and “seed-giver” to father, nurturer, and family partner is less clearly defined and, therefore, less celebrated. On one level, it is easy to understand why. After the father’s seed has been sown, his physical part in the gestation and development of this new life is complete, and obvious occasions for acknowledgment and affirmation of his fatherhood go lacking. It follows that there are less visible opportunities for father-child bonding that would help him to step into his new family and social roles.

Also, in our culture, the father traditionally has had a “hands-off” role; he is on the sidelines in the actual day to day raising of the child. His main task has been to provide for mother and child materially, and most of the “warm and fuzzy” aspects of parenting has been the mom’s province. Fortunately, more men today want to be hands-on fathers, to show up as equal partners with the mother in every meaningful way.  As a “celebrant,” non-denominational minister and proud father, I want to support families in acknowledging and encouraging the father’s unique role in the life of the family, and in ways that are powerful, positive, joyful and meaningful for both father and mother — and which ultimately promote a more well-rounded family environment for the baby.

Fatherhood ceremonies can take many forms. They can be as simple as a straightforward statement of intent, a symbolic visualization of the son or new daughter while in utero, combined with personally meaningful selections of music and poetry. Blessings can be given and received. Ceremonies can occur with the father and celebrant alone, or with the father, mother and celebrant, or they can occur as large community ceremonies on a scale similar to weddings.

A fatherhood ceremony can be a one-time event somewhere on the continuum from conception through gestation, birth and beyond, or there can be several “mini-events” along the new family’s journey.  Whether they are large or small, simple or complex, overtly spiritual, interfaith or secular, it is my work to design ceremonies that are unique and personally meaningful to my clients.

If you or a client of yours are interested in integrating “fatherhood rituals” into the pregnancy and parenting process, I encourage you to contact me at info@phillipsceremonies.com, or call me  at 917-670-9293.