Adam Phillips

Civil Unions

adamphillips — Tue, 23 Mar 2010 01:50:56 +0000

Same-sex partners who wish to celebrate their love and commitment to each other in the presence of their families and communities should have the same opportunities as opposite-sex couples to have a bonding ceremony that is meaningful, personal, memorable, authentic and fun. I am honored to help design and officiate at commitment ceremonies that reflect the love and purpose that these couples share.

For a free consultation to discuss these or any other ceremonies, please e-mail me at adam@phillipsceremonies.com or call 917-670-9293

Home & Hearth

adamphillips — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 06:22:52 +0000

A home is a lot more than square footage and a place to park one’s stuff. It is a place of joy and refuge where one’s family and personal life is lived and expressed. As a multi-faith minister and celebrant, I am privileged to help create meaningful, memorable ceremonies that say “our home really matters,” and “there is love here.” It is a time-honored way to express all the values embodied by one’s home.

Home Blessings and Housewarmings

A housewarming ceremony, where one takes possession and officially moves into one’s new home, sends a message to oneself, one’s family, one’s neighbors and the community that a significant and wholesome change is taking place, and that this change truly matters. The tone of a housewarming ceremony can vary from “spiritual,” to interfaith to entirely secular, and can incorporate elements from many housewarming traditions — from affixing a mezzuzah, jumping across a doorsill, to preparing a special meal with one’s loved ones, to planting a tree, or entirely new elements can be created and incorporated.

House Purification and Space Clearing

I can also perform space clearings, where a home is energetically cleansed with traditional sage or other fragrant herbs and soothing sound and music, then consecrated for the new homeowner and his or her family with poetry, blessings from and for ceremony participants, and other elements.

Mortgage Payoffs

The moment when one’s mortgage is finally paid off is usually the culmination of years of debt, hard work, sacrifice. It is both cathartic and gratifying to celebrate this joyful occasion with a meaningful ceremony, which can include a formal noteburning, expressions of thanksgiving, a re-dedication to the cherished values of the home, and a celebration of the unique spirit of the household as it has evolved over time.

I also design ceremonies that celebrate the sale of one’s house, cornerstone-laying, and the inauguration or completion of home renovation and beautification projects.

The Empty Nest

When children leave the home for college or their own homes, it marks a significant life change for the parents and the life of the home as well as for the children. I can help design ceremonies that acknowledges the poignant and often complex emotions inherent in these transitions and which help prepare a path for creative new possibilities to emerge.

Pets

People love their pets and are often so deeply bonded with them that when a pet dies, it leaves a hole in the family that creates a sense of loss and grief almost as intense as when a human family member has passed on. I can help design burial and goodbye ceremonies in which both the love for the pet and sadness at its loss loss are acknowledged, and a sense of gratitude and completion are achieved. I also work effectively with children coping with the loss of a pet.

For a free consultation to discuss these or any other ceremonies, please email me at adam@phillipsceremonies.com or call 917-670-9293

Other Ceremonies

adamphillips — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 05:41:45 +0000

Reconciliations
Divorce and Separation Ceremonies
Birthdays
Pet Burials
Bar/Bat Mitzvahs
Confirmations
Graduations
Twelve-Step Program Milestones
Achievements
Passing Professional Licensing Examinations
Awards Presentations
Community Appreciation Ceremonies
New Car Blessing
Leaving on a Voyage or Returning Safely Home

End of Life

adamphillips — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 03:10:36 +0000

Every life has its moments of illness, healing and death. Beginning or ending complicated medical treatment, recovering from an acute illness, or living through one’s final days — it is wholesome and life-affirming to mark all of these transitions with blessings and ritual in the presence of others. This is my specialty.

Final Days Appreciation in Hospice, Hospital or Home

The best time to tell someone “I love you” is when they are still alive to hear it, to feel cherished, and respond. A ritual or ceremony in a hospice, hospital, home or natural setting, where family members and loved ones can take turns expressing their love and appreciation and say goodbye to a person during his or her final days, can be a nurturing and deeply satisfying act for all concerned. I can help plan, orchestrate and officiate ceremonies for these deeply significant, although often difficult, milestone moments.

Funerals

A funeral is a time both to mourn the loss and to affirm the life that was led by the deceased with an authentic and open-hearted display of emotion and sentiment. Although I am comfortable and competent with Jewish funeral rituals, I work with families and funeral directors to design, write and officiate at funeral services of any size for people of any faith, or no faith at all. This includes open and closed casket funerals, cremation ceremonies, and burials, or later, memorial services where headstones are unveiled or ashes are scattered. I can also arrange for burial at sea.

Memorial Services and Dedications

Memorial services are opportunities for family and loved ones, as well as members of the departed one’s social and community circles to gather and remember the person that has passed away and to formally acknowledge what his or her life meant to them. Memorial services usually take place well after the funeral, although they can be held soon afterward, if desired. Memorial services often allow for a more complex ceremony than a funeral, and permit more people, from a wider circle, participants, to reflect upon the person who has died, and prepare their own personal contributions to the event. Memorial services can be held when the headstone is dedicated, a garden is planted, or some milestone in the grieving process has been reached.

Pets

People are often so deeply bonded with their pets that when a beloved pet dies, it can cause a sense of loss and grief almost as intense as when a human family member has passed on. I can help design burial and goodbye ceremonies in which both the love for the pet and sadness at its loss are acknowledged, and feelings of gratitude and completion are achieved. I also work effectively with children coping with the loss of a pet.

For a free consultation to discuss these or any other ceremonies, please e-mail me at adam@phillipsceremonies.com or call 917-670-9293

Health & Healing

adamphillips — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 03:06:28 +0000

Beginning or Ending Medical Treatment

An illness or injury can be a frightening and turbulent event in anyone’s life. Still, your emotional, psychological and spiritual state profoundly affects how challenges such as surgery, chemotherapy, convalescence or rehabilitation are encountered and dealt with. Ceremonies of well-wishing and blessing for healing and serenity that include loved ones (and, when desired, health-care providers) are a way to smooth the path, establish perspective, and give hope, courage and commitment during difficult times. I can facilitate these in the home, in a hospital, in a natural setting, or in almost any other venue.

Coping with Disability

Becoming permanently or temporarily disabled can be accepted or resisted. I can help design ceremonies that can solemnize your attitudes and intentions, whatever they are.

Terminating Psychotherapy

Psychotherapy and analysis are significant, often heroic journeys. When a level of insight, understanding and inner growth has been achieved and the time has come to terminate therapy and move on, I can help design a ceremony that includes the patient, the therapist and other parties.

Recovery from Trauma, Loss and Grief

Every human life is subject to trauma and loss of many kinds. The loss of a loved one, an automobile accident, being the victim of a robbery or another crime, even (or especially!) disappointments over love or work can be experienced as emotional wounds. I can help design personalized ceremonies which acknowledge trauma and loss through words, poetry, music and ritual acts, and help pave the way for healing and renewed wholeness.

Ceremonies of Recovery and Health

A ceremony after healing and recovery have been achieved, where you formally wish for wholeness and well-being and invoke a state of ongoing health is a wonderful way to bring closure to the challenges that have been met, and affirm the wisdom and other gifts the ordeal has brought to you and your loved ones. I can design ceremonies that open a new life chapter.

For a free consultation to discuss these or any other ceremonies, please email me at adam@phillipsceremonies.com or call 917-670-9293.

School, Career & Achievements

adamphillips — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 02:59:57 +0000

Every life has its own victories and achievements that call out for recognition and celebration. These are some examples of ceremonies that say “What you did or are doing is worth noteworthy and admired. It is valued, it matters, and we care. Let’s celebrate!”

Coming of Age
Graduations
Passing Professional Exams and Licenses
Getting a Job and Leaving a Job
Promotions
Changing Careers
Career Achievement
Creative Accomplishment
Retirement

For a free consultation to discuss these or any other ceremonies, please email me at adam@phillipsceremonies.com or call 917-670-9293

Public Ceremonies

adamphillips — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 01:41:40 +0000

Every traditional culture uses some form of ceremony and ritual to mark milestone moments in the life of the individual and the community, and their relationship both to ultimate value and often, to nature and the cycle of the seasons. Such events, when sensitively planned and artfully enacted, help connect us to our roots, and clarify our intentions and possibilities. They also have the power to create, strengthen and transform community — whether that community is a family, a neighborhood or any other affiliate group or organic fellowship, no matter the size.

For example, in my Manhattan community, I have been conducting public ceremonies that isolate and enhance the spiritual principle implicit in secular holidays. “Before the Turkey,” for instance, explored the theme of gratitude for Thanksgiving; “Broken Open” celebrated love and the heart from many perspectives — romantic, cardiological, cosmic and “other” for Valentine’s Day; a recent Mother’s Day Ceremony examined the maternal archetype within families, in nature, and in some of its hidden, even dark dimensions. A Labor Day ceremony that explore the many faces of work in human life is being planned.

In each case, the themes are not approached cerebrally, or as academic questions to be solved, but rather as numinous enigmas that can be approached but never exhausted through music, poetry, short talks and meditations from wise teachers from various traditions. So far, each ceremony so far has climaxed in the creation of a “community altar,” where participants express their feelings and intentions relative to the theme, followed by a song, and the closing of the circle. Bacchanal optional.

Esalen Workshop (Dec. 19-24, 2010)

adamphillips — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 01:00:24 +0000

Ceremonies and Ritual for Personal Exploration and Community Building
Week of December 19-24, 2010

Every traditional culture uses ceremony and ritual to mark life’s milestone moments and its relationship to nature and the cycle of the seasons or ultimate values. Whether it’s an individual celebrating a birth, a coming-of-age, a graduation, a wedding, becoming an elder, or some other stage of the life cycle, or a community celebrating the harvest, an inauguration, or a principle such as gratitude, love, work or the divine, such “marker moments” help connect us to our roots, and clarify our intentions and possibilities. They also have the power to create and strengthen communities, no matter the size.

This workshop will use seminar-style discussion, guided imagery, and experiential group work to explore rituals and ceremonies. Participants will be shown the fundamental structure of ritual and its roots in sacred worship and the early theater, as well as how to use music, poetry, and storytelling to create personal and community ceremonies that are inspiring, transformative, and entertaining. Every day will begin or end with a ceremony created by two or more members of the group, and our five days together will culminate in a special ceremony we create for the Esalen community.

http://webapp.esalen.org/esalen/workshops/8824

Family & Coming of Age

adamphillips — Sat, 13 Mar 2010 23:38:54 +0000

Whether it is the transition from child to teenager, from teenager to young adult, becoming a parent or an “elder,” every culture has a set of ceremonies or ritual acts that announce significant new stages along life’s path. I help create family and community ceremonies where these transitions are acknowledged, celebrated and revered.

Baby Welcoming

When a new child comes into the family through birth or adoption, a formal welcoming ceremony is a way of weaving his or her unique personality and spirit into the family web. I can help create a ceremony that includes the naming and blessing of a new arrival in which any or all family members can participate, along with others in the community and, when appropriate, ritual circumcision specialists, medical personnel and midwives, adoption agents, caretakers and others.

Coming-of-Age

From confirmation ceremonies to “vision quests” and “Sweet Sixteen” balls, every culture has traditions that acknowledge and celebrate the powerful changes a child undergoes on his or her way to young adulthood. Coming-of-age ceremonies mark a two-fold transformation. First, there is a shift in the child’s sense of him- or herself and his or her newly won freedom, and responsibility toward the family and community. Second, the family and community are transformed by the changing role of the young person coming-of-age within them. I specialize in helping young people celebrate these transitions in personally meaningful ways which also include the family and community.

A ceremonial coming-of-age process can occur at specific intervals over time in a symbolic progression from childhood to young adulthood, or it can focus exclusively on a culminating ritual. Coming-of-age rituals can rely entirely on traditional elements, or can incorporate the traditions of several cultures, or they can be entirely new, created by the child, the family and the multi-faith minister and celebrant.

Bar and Bat Mitzvah Preparation

In addition to the traditional Bar/Bat Mitzvah preparation process, where a child is expected to learn his or her Torah portion and the wisdom and it may contain (followed by a party), a growing number of parents today believe that Bar/Bat Mitzvah preparations should also include a series of guided discussions about what it really means to become morally and ethically responsible in a Jewish context, and to encourage in the child a sense of the inwardness, gravity and responsibility that becoming a very young man or woman entails. There are many wonderful sources in ancient and contemporary Jewish literature that point the way in these matters, and there can – and ought to be – lots of creativity in personalizing the Bar/Bat Mitzvah transition in the family’s distinct “voice.” I can help.

Becoming a Parent

Becoming a parent is a moment in life that changes you forever. Formally noting and celebrating your transformation into a parent, and dedicating yourself to the “new arrival” is a powerful experience, whether done in tandem with your spouse and child, in the presence of the family and community, or by yourself. Whatever method is chosen, parenting ceremonies are opportunities to articulate your most heartfelt emotions and highest principles, and provide an occasion to declare openly your commitment to guide and nurture the new generation.

Fatherhood Ceremonies

Midwives and mothers know how pregnancy, childbirth and motherhood transform a woman emotionally, spiritually, and in relation to her family and social roles. A father too has a vital role in conception and parenting. But often the profound changes a man undergoes in his transformation, from lover, husband, and seed-giver to father, nurturer, and family partner are less clearly defined and therefore less celebrated. As a multi-faith minister and celebrant (and proud father), I want to support families in acknowledging and encouraging a father’s unique role in the life of the family. Fatherhood ceremonies are powerful, joyful and meaningful occasions for both father and mother, and can ultimately promote a better-rounded family environment for the baby. Fatherhood rituals can follow a sequence from the first positive test, through the stages of the pregnancy and birth and the childrearing to follow, or they can occur once along the timeline.

Becoming an Elder

Those who have truly lived life have gained experience, wisdom and perspective that benefit and serve the family, the community and the entire world. Whether you have reached a point in life where your childrearing years are over, or you have chosen to go through life solo and to develop and contribute in your own unique way, or have reached a milestone birthday that bespeaks a certain gravitas, it is wholesome, appropriate and delightful to acknowledge your elderhood to yourself, your loved ones, and your larger circle through a special ceremony. It is my honor to help design meaningful, solemn, and creative elder ceremonies.

For a free consultation to discuss these or any other ceremonies, please e-mail me at adam@phillipsceremonies.com or call 917-670-9293

Commitments & Separations

adamphillips — Sat, 13 Mar 2010 23:14:52 +0000

Engagement Ceremonies

You actual wedding date may be far off, but your commitment to a shared life as a couple begins at the moment of your engagement. I help design ceremonies that celebrate this profoundly brave, loving and life-affirming act, either with the two of you alone, or in the presence of your families, friends and community. Traditional engagement ceremonies, or various elements from the traditional engagement ceremonies of many cultures may be included, and there is lots of room for creativity, high seriousness and fun.

Vow Renewals and Special Anniversaries

Audra and Rodney renew their vows

Couples who have been married or committed to each other for some time often wish to refresh and re-affirm their shared lives and common path with a renewal of vows. Sometimes a significant anniversary is chosen as the proper time. For others, it just “feels right” to strengthen and celebrate the bond when, for example, the children leave home, or when a shared goal has been reached or a challenge overcome. I can help make these and other milestone moments memorable.

Divorce and Separation Ceremonies

The decision to separate or divorce is an event nearly as momentous as the decision to marry in terms of its effect on the two spouses, their children (if any) and other family members and social relationships. A ceremony that marks this milestone by acknowledging the past and the separation that is now occurring can help mitigate the pain and disappointment that can accompany divorce, and set the tone for a brighter future less encumbered by what was. Just as marriages differ, so must divorces, and any ceremonies attendant on them must be sensitively designed. Sometimes it is appropriate for only one spouse to be present, sometimes both. Family members and friends may or may not attend. Religiously divorce elements such as a “get” or a “talaq” may be incorporated, or not. As a multi-faith minister and celebrant, it is my job to work with you to design ceremonies that work specifically for your situation and concerns.

For a free consultation to discuss these or any other ceremonies, please e-mail me at adam@phillipsceremonies.com or call 917-670-9293